HOW TO HANDLE DISCOURAGEMENT

What can you do when you have the world's deadliest disease? No, it's not cancer, not polio, nor MS. and not AIDS. It's Discouragement.

Why is discouragement such a dreaded disease? First, because it's universal. All of us get discouraged. I do, you do, we all do. Discouragement is common. Even Christians get discouraged. Second, because it's recurring. You can get discouragement a number of times. It's not just a one-time thing. Third, because it's highly contagious. Other people can get discouraged because you're discouraged.

NOW THE GOOD NEWS

But the good news is that Discouragement is also curable. A story from the life of Nehemiah (chap.4) illustrates the four causes and the three cures for discouragement. You recall that the man Nehemiah was a leader of the Jewish group that had returned to Israel from Babylon to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. When they had first started on the wall, they had had a lot of fervor and zeal and were very excited about the project. But after working awhile they got discouraged.

Chapter 4 of the book of Nehemiah shows why people get discouraged and how to overcome that discouragement -- what to do when you feel like giving up. " So we rebuilt the wall until all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart”(4:6) Verses 10-12 continue. “Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, “the strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.’ Also our enemies said ' before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will them and put an end to the work. ‘Then the Jews who live near them came and told us ten times over. ‘Wherever you turn, they will attack us.'”

JUST PLAIN TIRED

Why do people get discouraged? The first reason is fatigue. The people in Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is giving out. “ In other words, they had worked a long time and were physically exhausted. They were just plain worn out—physically and emotionally drained.

Sometimes people ask for counseling who incorrectly think that their discouragement is a spiritual problem. They may say, “I just need to recommit my life the Lord.” But the real problem is they are just burned out. They just need relaxation m and renewal. So tell them, “You don’t need to recommit your life –you just need some rest.” Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is just go to bed and relax, or take an affordable vacation. For a week or two, to change your world for a moment and get refreshed.

When do fatigue and discouragement come about? Look at the verse six: “so we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height.” Do you know when you are apt to get discouraged the most? When you are half way through a project. Everybody works hard for first. These people worked with all their heart” (v.6) why? Because of the newness of the project. It was novel at first, but after awhile the newness wore off and the work got boring, Life settled down into a rut, then a routine, then a ritual.

I have ever painted a room? You get half way through it and then look around and say, “Man, I’m getting tired, and I am just half way finished. Not only that, but after I am finished I’ve got to clean everything up.”

I did a fatigued thing not long ago. I tried to reorganize my filing cabinet. Do you know what it means to clean out your filing cabinets? It means that you take all the things out of your life, and then put them in different piles all over the floor, then you get discouraged and put everything back the way it was!

Have you been started to climb a mountain and thought.” It will only take me one hour to get to the top? But when you are halfway to the top you’ve already spent two hours! So you think, I shall keep going? I’ve got to go that far back down again too! Suddenly you start thinking,” May be it’s God’s will that I go back down.” Fatigue is the number one cause of discouragement, and it often happens right about the midpoint. That’s why so many people seldom complete anything.

OVERCOMING FRUSTRATION

But there’s a second reason why people get discouraged. The people said.” There is so much rubble that we cannot build the wall” (v.10). That’s frustration. They were discouraged and frustrated. What’s rubble? They were building a new wall, but old broken rocks were everywhere, along with dirt and dried-out mortar. When they looked at the rubble and the debris they got discouraged. They lost their sight of their goals because there was so much junk in their lives that they didn’t know how to get to the real business of living.

Whenever you do a project some waste is going to accumulate, and it can get to be pretty frustrating. Have you ever expanded a room or constructed a building? All of a sudden you notice piles of plaster all over the place. Or you paint a room, and there’s more paint everywhere else than on the walls! The trash just seems to multiply. You can’t avoid rubbish in life, but you can learn to recognize it and you can learn what to do with it so you don’t give up on your original plan.

What is the rubbish in your life? It’s the trivial things that waste your time and consume your energy and frustrate you, that keep you from becoming all you want to be, that keep you from doing the things that are really most important. The rubbish in your life is those things that get in your way, the interruptions that keep you from accomplishing your goals. There are the things we need to clean away in our lives.

MAKING FAILURE TEMPORARY

The third reason why people get discouraged is also covered in verse 10: “We cannot rebuild the wall.” Do you know what they are saying?” We can’t do it. It’s impossible. It is foolish to try. We give up.” The third cause of discouragement is failure. The people were unable to finish their task as quickly as they had originally planned, and as a result their confidence went down the tubes. They lost heart and got discouraged. They said.” We can’t do it, so we’re just going to give up.”

How do you handle failure in your life? Do you have a pity party? Do you say?” Oh , poor me, I can’t get this job done”? Do you start complaining? “It’s impossible. It can’t be done. I was a fool to even try . It’s stupid.

Or do you blame other people? Everybody else let me down. They didn’t do their parts of the job.” The difference between winners and losers is that winners always see failure as being only a temporary setback.

STOPPED BY FEAR?

There’s a fourth reason why people get discouraged. Nehemiah’s people put in this way: “Our enemies said. Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work” (v.11). There were people in the land of Israel who did not want the wall to be built: they were the enemies of the Jews. A wall around the city represented safety and defense, so these enemies did not want the wall to be finished. So first they criticized the Jews, then they ridiculed them, and finally they threatened them:” we’re going to kill you if you keep on building the wall.” So the wall-builders got discouraged Why? Because of the fourth cause of discouragement, fear.

Notice who it was that got discouraged. It was “the Jews who lived near” the enemy (v.12). then they discouraged others by saying,” Wherever you turn, they will attack us.” When you hang around a negative person long enough, you know what happens. You pick up his negativism too. If you hear somebody keeps saying. ”It can’t be done,” you’ll start believing him.

Do you have fears that are discouraging you right now—fears that are preventing you from developing and growing? Do you fear criticism or embarrassment? Are you afraid to take the big step and get the new job? May be it’s a fear that you’re not capable for the task. Maybe it’s a fear that you can’t hold up under the pressure. Maybe it’s the fear that you have to be perfect. Fear always discourages you.

How can you tell if your discouragement is being caused by fear? You have a deep, intense desire to run:”I’ve got to get out of this place!” You have an intense desire to scope from life’s demands and pressures. The natural reaction of fear is always to run. In life there are only three ways you can move—against something in anger, away from it in fear, or with it in love.

What is the antidote to this terrible disease of discouragement? Notice what Nehemiah did as a wise leader and a man of God. He knew what it was that discouraged people, so he took the appropriate actions to correct the problem. There are three principles to help you feel like giving up, and here they are in a nutshell: Reorganize, remember, resist.

FIND A BETTER WAY

Nehemiah used the reorganize principle: “therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families with their word, spears, and bows” (v.13). Nehemiah said, “We’re going to get this thing really organized. Were going to get a new system here. You people go over there, and you other people stand here, and we’ll get this problem solved.”

The firs principle in conquering discouragement is this: Reorganize your life. When you get discouraged, don’t give up on your goals. Instead, devise a new approach. When you get discouraged, it does not necessarily mean that you’re doing the wrong thing; you can be doing the right thing in the wrong way. Was it wrong for these Jews to be building a wall? Absolutely not; it was the right thing. But they were doing the right thing in the wrong way, and as a result they got discouraged.

Do you have a problem? Reorganize your life. A problem in your marriage? Don’t give up on it. Try a new attitude. A problem in your business? Don’t give up on it. Try a new approach. A problem in your Christian living? Don’t give up on it. Try a new prayer. A problem with your health? Try a new doctor. Just don’t give up. Keep on keeping on.

Some of us are discouraged because we are under tremendous pressure; your work load is unbelievable. God’s message to you is reorganize. Reorganize your time, reorganize your schedule: refocus on your goal. Clear out the clutter and rubble and trivia, the things that are wasting your time. Then reorganize so you work toward your main goal.

Not long ago, I was reminded at a seminar of the 80/20 principle. About 80 percent of our time is usually spent on the 20 percent of our activities that are not productive. As a result we are frustrated. What we need to do instead is spend 80 percent of our time on the 20 percent of our job that produces the most results. Managers call this ROI time. –“Return On Investment” time. In other words, use the maximum time on those few things that get the greatest results.

Notice that Nehemiah focused on priorities. When he recognized, he posted the people by families. Why? Because he knew that anybody who is discouraged needs a support group. We need other people, and families are a natural group. When one person in a family gets discouraged other members will lift him up. We need our fellow Christians to support each other and encouraged each other. When I get down, you lift me up and when you get down, I lift you up. That’s a super group.

Solomon says,” two are better than one, because they are a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how one can keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. And a cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (eccl.4:9-12). What is he saying? That it is important to have other people in our lives in order to help us and encourage us.

REMEMBER YOUR LEADER

How else do you overcome discouragement? By remembering your Lord. Notice what Nehemiah said “after I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people,’don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome’” (neh.4:14). What does it mean to remember the Lord”? It means to recommit yourself to Him. It means to rededicate yourself to Him. It means to draw on His spiritual power.

What specifically do you remember? Three things. First, remember God’s goodness to you in the past. When you start thinking about all the good things that God has already done in your life, your spirit will be lifted. Second, remember God’s closeness in the present. What is God doing in your life right now? He is with you whether you feel Him or not, because He said,” Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’ (Heb.13:5. you may not be calling on god, but he is still there. Third, remember God’s power for the future—He will give you strength for your needs. “I can do everything through” Christ, because He strengthens me (phil. 4:13). When you get discouraged, get your mind off our circumstances and on the Lord. For circumstances depress discourage.

Remember, your thoughts determine feelings. If you feel discouraged it’s because you’re thinking discouragement thoughts. If you want to feel encouraged instead, start thinking encouraging thoughts. Choose some uplifting bible verses to memorize: “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” (Phil.4:13, KJV). Nothing can separate me from the love of God” (rom. 8:39). If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom. 8:31) “Everything is possible for him who believes us?” (Mark 9:23).

FIGHT THE GLOOMY OUTLOOK

How else do you fight discouragement? By resisting the discouragement. Notice what Nehemiah says:” Fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” (Neh.4:14b). What is Nehemiah’s saying? “Don’t yield to discouragement without a fight. Resist discouragement. Fight it. Don’t give in to it, but resist it.”

The bible teaches that we who are Christians are in a spiritual warfare, a battle. We are in a supernatural conflict, a combat with negative forces. The bible says that the devil is the accuser of Christians; he loves to get us down. That is his number one tool, because he knows that a discouraged Christian has limited potential. He knows that when we’re down, our effectiveness is neutralized. So he does everything he can to discourage us. James says, “Resist the devil” (James 4:7). Resist him and his negative thoughts –all the discouragement he tries to bring into your life.

You do not have e discouraged in life. It’s your choice. You may choose to give in to it. But great people simply refuse to be discouraged. They don’t know how to quit. They never give up even when they’re fatigued and frustrated and failed and fearful. Great people are ordinary people with extra ordinary amounts or persistence. They just hang in there and never give up.